Getting The Convo Started!

Here on Lemon Pepper Wet, we constantly talk about Mental Health and it’s importance. For our last episode of Mental Health Awareness Month, we reached out to an actual psychologist, Doneisha Burke, who gave us a few pointers on how to normalize the conversation surrounding Mental Health at home. Read, take notes, and put these tips into practice!

Establishing a framework of being able to express our feelings/emotions is really the foundation of how we start developing an understanding of mental health. But how do we start the conversation?

1. Begin discussing and helping kids identify from a young age different range of emotions. For example this is happy, this is sad, this is scared, this is excited... once they can identify that, then it sets a framework for loved ones to ask 'how do you feel?' Which brings me to the second point...

2. 'How do YOU feel?' Everyone has feelings; the good, the bad, the in between; if a person knows that different emotions exist and that some one cares to know how they are feeling then the stage for 'the conversation' has been set.

3. 'Oh you care??'... knowing that someone has a vested interest in our wellbeing is the beginning of putting one at ease for sharing, and that's exactly what any conversation about mental health will need, feeling comfortable. Just knowing that someone cares is critical when starting any convo about mental health.

4. 'Speak up!' Whatever side of the coin you may be on whether it be the person experiencing something or the one who senses something, it's important to open our mouths, it's the only way to 'get the conversation started'. So if you notice a friend or family member may be going through something it's ok to ask 'hey yuh good' 'how are you feeling?'. Likewise if you are experiencing something and have a trusted other to open up to, go ahead, do that. And, it is true, not everyone will feel comfortable speaking with friends or family and that's ok, professional help is perfectly acceptable! Bottomline we must all use our voices!

Now, go get that convo started!

Doneisha Burke, Associate Clinical Psychologist and University Lecturer.

Outside of work, she can be spotted working as an unpaid paparazzi amongst her friends and family. She enjoys her wings in the same flavor as her personality, spicy with a touch of sweet if possible.

The Makings of a Goal Getter

Hi there, B here. Self proclaimed procrastinator, day dreamer, and over thinker at your service. While all these qualities make me who I am, they also hold me back from reaching the goals I have for myself. 

On our most recent episodes, "Mutant Plants" and "Now Walk It Out", we revisited the goals and intentions that we set for ourselves at the beginning of the year. For me, it can be a little disheartening feeling like I'm the only one not out here glowing up and killing my to do list but judging from the responses to our DAB, some of y'all are struggling just like me. 

Shoutout to @robinjdean on IG for asking us for tips on how to keep up with our goals. Here's the list that we came up with on air plus some extra commentary from me:

• Set up visual reminders: Whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, make sure you're seeing it constantly. That could mean a sticky note on your mirror or changing the lock screen on your phone. Social media can be a little tricky when it comes to perception vs reality, but a good way to make it useful to you is only following accounts that are aligned with your journey. For example, instead of following #RelationshipGoals accounts (cause tbh, what the fuck are those anyway), why not follow an account that posts tips on how to clean up your credit or how to meditate effectively. 
• Find accountability partners: There's nothing like publicly stating you're gonna do something, feeling good that you made that announcement, then rolling over and going back to sleep only to have your phone going off hours later with messages like "Sis, did you workout today?" or "How's that painting coming along?" followed by hella inquisitive emojis 👀 🧐🤔. To me, an accountability partner is a breathing visual reminder of your goals. Make sure you find someone who is willing to keep it real with you and won't allow you to give in to your weaknesses or give up. In turn, be ready to hear some hard truths. This method might not be ideal for everyone as there is a fine line between being held accountable and being shamed. No worries! There's tons of apps out there that do the exact same job. Personally, My Fitness Pal really helped me out on my fitness/health journey last year when I lost 20lbs...*re-downloads app*
• Celebrate your wins: A win is a win, no matter how big or small and should be celebrated. The key is to not get too caught up to where the rest of your goals are overshadowed by the celebration (THIS IS ME!!). Let's use spring cleaning as an example. No one really wants to do it; unless you're one of those super put together people who get pleasure out of deep cleaning. If you're that person, I can't stand you yet I love you and want to be you. To motivate yourself to get your cleaning done, turn it into a game. For every room you clean, allow yourself to watch one episode of a show you've been meaning to binge watch (for me "Grown-ish" and "Jessica Jones" have held me captive). That may not work for everyone or every situation but make sure however you reward yourself for a job well done, you don't undo all your progress. Blowing all your money in EAV after reaching your savings goal is counterproductive and is going to put you right back in the place you were before. Don't be that person. 
• Sit with your goals: The beauty of this life journey is that we're always changing and evolving. Things that we used to admire or be inspired by may not even be on our radar 6 months later. If you find yourself not really motivated to achieve those goals you set for yourself, perhaps this is a good time to reevaluate what changed. When Dinah mentioned this tip on the podcast (seriously, have you listened to the episode or naw?), I admit I was triggered. I'm more likely to deem myself  a failure if I don't accomplish what I set out to do instead of taking a step back and realizing maybe I didn't actually want to chase that goal in the first place. Honestly, a lot of that comes from me thinking I should be doing something rather than me really wanting to do it. The pressure to be a certain way is real y'all but let's try not to fall victim to that feeling and be intentional about our decisions and goals, deal?

This is the part where I put out the disclaimer. I do NOT have all the answers and I'm not fully on top of my shit. I'm the pot AND the kettle. I can say that I've implemented these tools a time or two in the past and have had success. Full disclosure, writing this blog post was a goal I set for myself today and the reward for finishing was a trip to Target. Yes, I'm that basic. But I got it done and I hope it helped you as much as it helped me. Leave a comment and let me know what your goals are. I'm curious, and nosey, but mostly curious. 

Holla at a player when you see me in the streets,

B